In Between Days
by Valentaku
Summary: Sophomore Gabriel Novak really doesn't need this crush on popular Sam Winchester. He already has to deal with his missing father, abusive older brothers, countless younger siblings, and a list of secrets that is getting to long to control. ?This Gets a little dark, so I'm giving a T and tagging Triggers: Bullying, Abuse, Eating Disorders, Self-harm, Abandonment. Sabriel/Destiel
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Boys Don't Cry

_October 5, 1999_

_Sam Winchester talked to me today. I got tongue tied and made an ass of myself._

Gabriel put down his pencil and sighed, throwing the journal across the room. Feeling an unexplainable soreness inside, he curled up under the covers of his bed, trying to fold himself into as small a shape as possible in his dark warm space under the covers. Downstairs, he heard Michael trying to get everyone seated for dinner. He counted under his breath, waiting for the call.

"Gabriel! Get down here!" the older boy yelled from the kitchen. Gabriel pretended not to hear.

"Gabriel, we're going to start without you!" Michael called. Gabriel didn't feel like eating.

"I'm not hungry" he shouted, his voice muffled by the blankets. He waited for a response, but didn't get one. He breathed a sigh of relief**. **He began his nightly storytelling, slipping into the lies as easily as every other time; that it was easier to be alone since his brother Lucifer had run away, and dad had disappeared with him. That his big brothers Rafael and Michael, who were both in their mid-twenties, had taken over the house when Dad had walked out, ignored him because of the stress of raising what seemed like a dozen other younger siblings, and that it was great that he never had to deal with them. That the younger children were all right, and dad was just away on business. Yes, Gabriel was if anything grateful that they'd left- he needed to be alone sometimes. He started to feel the pit in his stomach lighten, until he remembered his encounter with Sam today, and felt a tear run down his face to die in the folds of his comforter. Sam had sat down across from him at lunch…

…

"You're Garret, right?" Sam asked. Gabriel looked up from his lunch.

"Gabriel." He said. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, Gabriel." Sam corrected. Gabriel felt a catch in his throat at the way that Sam moved his hair out of his eyes and sat back in his seat, as comfortable as if he were with one of his friends. Gabriel closed his lunchbox, and noticed that Sam didn't have a lunch. He was suddenly embarrassed for some reason. He was incredibly aware of the smell of peanut butter that he was sure was on his breath.

"Why do you always eat alone, Gabriel?" Sam asked, leaning forward in his seat with his hands in his lap, his eyes widened in focus, his hair shifting into a position over his eyes before he brushed it away. Gabriel couldn't meet those huge brown eyes.

"No one to eat with." He mumbled.

"Well, that hardly seems right. You should come sit with us." Sam said. Gabriel blushed, and dug his chin into his neck, a nervous habit from childhood which he was still trying to kick.

"N-no,no, I couldn't. I just couldn't, I, I…"

He trailed off, his eyes thrust at the floor. Sam frowned a little, pushed his chair away from the table, and stood up.

"Alright, then, Gabriel. You're welcome to come over any time, though." He said, hiking his backpack over his shoulder and walking off. Gabriel stared down at his lunch box, hating himself. He felt a sudden jolt. He had forgotten that he had Sam's name written across the top of his lunchbox in sharpie. With hearts.

Back in his bedroom, Gabriel felt the rest of the tears coming. He didn't know what else to do but let them come.

**…**

The next day at school, Gabriel arrived at the building hideously early, as was the norm since Cass had started his freshman year. His nervous younger brother insisted on leaving the house at the crack of dawn, giving the two of them hours to roam the before class. Cass had shoehorned himself into the Winchester friend group almost immediately: Senior Dean, sophomore Sam, sophomore Jo, and several others who constituted a tight-knit assembly of beautiful, talented people. Castiel didn't really fit in, Gabriel thought to himself, but Dean had taken a liking to him anyways. Gabriel was guilty of smiling to himself whenever Cass seemed to be out on a joke made by one of the group. He hated himself for it, but he was jealous of Cass for beingcloser to Sam than he was. Gabriel entered the school building, shivering from the cold, and hunched his shoulders, making his way to the east hallway, where he could dump his stuff and curl up in an unused doorway to catch up on some sleep. As he laid down on the hard tile, he considered himself. Gabriel Novak, sophomore. No real fashion sense, and an awkwardness around other people that left him not ostracized by, but un-relatable to, the rest of the students in the school. He didn't really mind- the small tricks that he played on them made him feel connected to them somehow. You had to _try_ to know someone's fears, someone's habits, a good trick took work, not that anyone appreciated it. He thought they would be flattered that he paid enough attention to them to know their secret weaknesses, to be able to exploit them so cunningly… if they ever figured out that he was behind it. Gabriel only paid attention to one person who he never tricked. He smiled in his half-sleeping state, the name in his head warming his whole body, from his chest and stomach down. Sam Winchester.

"Yeah...That is my name." Sam said. Gabriel opened his eyes with a start, and scrambled into a sitting position. Sam Winchester was standing in front of him, six-feet tall and glimmering. And he'd just said his name in his sleep. Shit.

"Yes. Yes, it is your name, Sammy- I mean Sam. Sam. Sorry. Sorry, Sam." he said quickly, feeling his face grow red. Sam knelt down, and Gabriel found that the youngest Winchester was even more beautiful when you didn't have to crane your neck to see him. He realized that he was digging his chin into his neck again. Double shit.

"Well, since you know my name, you should really try sitting with me now, huh?" he asked. Gabriel shook his head. Sam shrugged, pushing himself back into standing position. Gabriel was filled with the warm "Sam's name" feeling again, but instinct told him better.

"I think I'm… I'm alright anyways." He said, not meeting Sam's eyes.

"Suit yourself, Trickster." Sam called back to him. Gabriel froze.

Trickster.

He hated mind games. That was _his_ thing. He wanted to go home already.

**Thanks so much for reading this! As always, please feel free to review, I love feedback. My first High school AU, I hope that my breaking of character role conventions isn't too egregious... I mapped the plot and character interactions before I'd read any other SPN high school AU's. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I know, writing two chapters in twelve hours. That's what good outlining does for a person, yes? But seriously, I had written two at once and been sitting on them for a few weeks, but I just couldn't wait to publish the second one. Anyways, huge Eating Disorder trigger here, if that applies to you. Just playing it safe. Enjoy... kind of.**

Chapter 2: Just Like Heaven

_October 6, 1999_

_I hate this I hate this please help me stop I wish it wasn't real I wish that I knew how to stop doing it it can't happen again Michael is right I'm so so sorry…_

…

Gabriel closed the door to his room behind him and listened to make sure that no one was coming up the stairs behind him. Swinging his backpack off of his back, he felt a familiar guilt creeping into him, but pushed it away. He unzipped it, and turned it on its end, emptying dozens of candy bars onto the floor of his bedroom, the sweet smell of chocolate flooding his nose and making him catch his breath. He sat down cross-legged on the floor with his back against the door, and he picked up the first one. His fingers brushed the fold on the back of the wrapper, slightly hesitant before slowly tearing it off. The sound was almost as sweet as the scent, the anticipation growing inside of him. He had been wanting this...no, he _needed_ this.. Downstairs, Michael had started screaming at someone. He pushed the stick of chocolate covered caramel into his mouth and began to chew, salivating at the taste of the chocolate seemed to pull everything out of him, wrapping it in it's dark brown coating and taking his problems down into his stomach with the sweet flavor. He almost didn't mind having stolen the money to buy it. He tried to blank his mind as he swallowed, and tore open the next. Chewed. Swallowed. Repeated. He began forcing down candy, trying to forget about the day. Forget about Sam. Sam. This one was for sam too.

And the next one so he could stop thinking that- (tear)

Another for the bruise over his eye because- (chew)

The next for every time he'd wanted- (swallow)

And seen- (tear)

And because Sam was so beautiful (chew)

Ogod if Sam knew this (swallow)

Ogod but if not this what else probably (tear) barely even taste (chew) are those tears (swallow)

And if there was only a way to stop the screaming (tear) and he wasn't even tasting it anymore (chew) and he just needed one more (swallow) to try to forget (tear) and he needed Michael (chew) to shut up and (swallow) Rafaela to shut up and (tear) Castiel to stop crying (chew) and Sam to stop existing and he (swallow) needed to-

He reached for another candy bar, and found that they were all gone. His stomach was beginning to churn, and the guilt was already setting in. He curled up on the floor, knowing that he would vomit if he moved. He'd cleaned chocolate vomit off of the carpet before, and it was never pleasant. He was glad to note that in the pain in his stomach, combined with the guilt, affected him in such a way as that he could hardly feel anything else. He drifted into a nearly sleeping state, focusing on the pain as much as he could. A few hours later, the door opened, and Michael came in. He stood there, on the edge of Gabriel's vision, taking in the floor covered in silver wrappers and the motionless body of his brother surrounded by them. He knelt, and leaned his face in close to Gabriel's, whispering:

"Freak."

And walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

**Thanks for reading this, once again, I love any kind of feedback. Super thanks to my editor Redpanda23, this chapter especially- she helped me make it readable when I got too close to the subject. Stay tuned for more "Cure" chapter titles and whatever else I write these for. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for reading, folks! I'm having probably too much fun with this...Trigger: Eating disorders. Otherwise, enjoy!**

Chapter 3: Why Can't I be you?

_October 7 1999_

_In hindsight, it was to be expected… Now why can't I forget it?_

…

Gabriel woke up the next day, and cleaned up the mess. It was Saturday, thank god… Accept that school would probably be better than this. He strained his hearing to see if Michael was up yet. There were cartoons streaming in from the kitchen and living room already, that would be the younger siblings, but Raf, Mike, and Cass seemed to still be sleeping. The heater wasn't on yet, and Gabriel had a feeling that it wouldn't be for some time. He grimaced at the pains in his stomach as he squeezed himself into a pair of jeans, and pulled on a plaid flannel shirt and his father's old barn coat for warmth. He tried to devise a strategy for the day. Keep out of their collective ways, avoid the mounting list of chores he never did, maybe find some time to slip down to the candy shop down the street… he shook his head. It was too soon. He needed to wait. He looked at his reflection in the hall mirror as he crept out to the bathroom, and was taken aback. His eyes had dark circles under them, his hair was a mess, and his clothes hung off of his frame- probably because they were Dad's. He certainly needed to lose weight. He remembered with a groan what he'd forgotten to do the night before. Everyone was asleep or watching T.V- he shouldn't get caught. He winced at every creak of the floor, and leaned against the back of the bathroom door once he got inside. He knelt at the toilet, and reached down his throat, reaching for a spot that was starting to get sore. His stomach kicked twice, and he vomited, dark brown and sickly-sweet, into the toilet, heaving several times before he was done. He sat back, panting, glad that it was out of him. He could go on with the day knowing that the guilt was gone, and more importantly, he could avoid getting fatter than he already was. He lifted up his shirt in the mirror, his ribs staring sharply back at him. But he saw it, what Lucy saw when they were kids, he still needed to lose… never mind. Dad's clothes covered him up well enough. Flushing the toilet, he opened the bathroom door, and crept down the hall to his room, bumping into a startled Castiel who was doing a little creeping of his own.

"Whoa there, little bro. Where are you speeding off to?" he asked, slipping into a false sort of bravado to compensate for the smell of vomit on his breath that Castiel had certainly noticed.

"Gabriel. I did not expect to see you awake this early. I was simply heading out to…" a knock on the door caused them both to snap their heads towards the stairs. Whoever it was, there would be hell to pay if they rang the doorbell and woke up Mike. They both ran to the door, Gabriel throwing it open mid-knock for a surprised looking Dean Winchester.

"Hi? Garrett, right?" Dean asked. Gabriel shook his head. From the impala on the street, a voice called: "Gabriel, jerk."

"Alright, bitch." Dean replied to his younger brother in the car. Gabriel's mind reeled. What the hell were they doing here? He turned around to see Castiel standing awkwardly with his backpack on over his long tan coat.

"Brother, I have been invited to spend the day at the lake with my friends. I assumed that it would be better if our older siblings were… unaware of my movements." He said. Gabriel balked. If Cass disappeared for a day? He couldn't deal with his siblings after that. Dean grinned, a real smile.

"You call him 'Brother? What do you call your dad, 'sir'?" we were both quiet. Dean realized what he'd just said, and coughed nervously. From the car, Sam called: "Dean, invite Gabriel, will you?" Gabriel blushed. Dean smiled kindly at him.

"You heard the kid. You want to come?" he asked. Of course he didn't. But then again... he could avoid Raf and Mike's wrath for a little bit longer if he was gone when they realized Cass was missing, and Cass clearly wasn't going to be persuaded to stay.

"Sure." He said at length.

The Indian summer couldn't keep October mornings warm, but by midafternoon when they arrived at the lake, it was a good sixty five or seventy degrees in the sun. Not really swimming weather in Gabriel's opinion, but then again, nothing was. This didn't stop the Winchester boys from tearing out of the car towards the water, stripping off their shirts and pants before jumping into the water in their underwear. Both Novak boys were stuck staring at their path, stuck on the memory of jumping muscles and smooth skin…

"Get an eyeful, sweetheart?" a girl's voice asked, as she closed Castiel's mouth by pushing up on his chin. Jo stood there wearing a bikini, which Gabriel thought was ludicrous considering the weather, a knowing smile on her face. Castiel sputtered.

"No. n-no. I was simply. I was just." Jo put a finger on his lips.

"Hey, honey. I had a thing for him once too. Word to the wise, sex hair? Dean Winchester isn't worth it. Come on, let's swim." She said. Gabriel wondered. If Jo was here, that meant that…

"Hey!" Ash was getting out of their car, in a t shirt and swim trunks, his mullet still mussed with bed-head. Ash should have graduated a few years ago, but kept failing classes. The kid was a genius, but Gabriel thought he had his reasons for staying in high school. He lived with Jo and her mom, the woman who owned the roadhouse on the interstate.

"Hello, Ash." Castiel said mechanically. They wandered down to the beach with Ash, where Castiel and Gabriel took seats on an overturned canoe while the other four splashed around in the water. Dean was way out in the lake, almost out of sight, forcing himself through the water in strong kicks and strokes that made his muscles clench and coil, reminding Gabe of some sort of animal. Castiel had noticed this as well. Sam was playing a lopsided game of chicken in the shallows, with Jo on Ash's shoulders and Sam by himself. The big guy was tall, but Ash and Jo together kept pushing him back into the water. Gabriel burned with jealousy every time they touched, even though he knew they weren't together. Sam surfaced after another assault from Jo, and called back to him.

"Hey, Gabe! I need some help. Get in here!" he called. Gabe blushed, and shook his head.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit!" He called back. The youngest Winchester began to wade to shore, his body dripping with cold water and steam rising from it. Gabriel almost shuddered. He crouched next the canoe, and Gabriel almost had to look away.

"Well, I brought one that I'm not wearing right now. It would be too big on you, but you could wear my boxers as swim trunks, right?" he asked. Gabriel should have said no. He really should have.

"Yes."

**Hope you've been enjoying this... thanks for the lovely reviews, and as always, I want to hear what you think! Chapter four and five are already done, but I'm going to make you wait. Mwahhahaha! Thanks to Redpanda23 for being the best editor in the Verse.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! I folded and published this after just a few hours. Enjoy this, if you can... Relevant Triggers: Self-harm, Eating Disorders**

Chapter 4: Cold

_October 7, 1999, continued:_

_And of course, the panic… He always looked better in blue…_

Sam Winchester changed behind a rock, and tossed his boxers out to Gabriel before stepping out from behind the boulder in his blue swim trunks.

"I'll meet you at the beach." He said, jogging towards the sound of splashing water. Gabriel sighed, and changed as well. He was distressed to notice that he was vaguely turned on at the prospect of wearing Sam's underwear, but he cleared his mind. No need for embarrassing, ill-timed erections in the water. He took off his jacket, but thinking about what he saw in the mirror this morning, He left his flannel shirt on. When he got down to the beach, Dean was out of the water, and he'd moved the canoe closer to the lake. He was sitting next to Castiel, who had taken off his shoes and socks, and was dipping his feet in the water and talking happily to Dean. Gabriel was glad to see that one of them was having fun.

"Gabriel! Get in here!" Sam called. Gabriel nodded, and waded out into the water. It was so cold it took his breath away, but Sam was there. He could do it to get to Sam. The boxers were just about the right size, and the legs came almost to his knees. They oddly matched the flannel shirt, he noted, as he approached the tall boy. Sam was grinning

"Jesus, Winchester, are you a seal or something?" Gabriel asked, hugging himself for warmth.

"I suppose." He said. Without warning, he swung Gabriel up out of the water and onto his shoulders, causing him to squeal at a very feminine octave.

"What the hell, Winchester?" Gabriel asked, clinging to the waistband of the boxers for dear life.

"We're playing Chicken, aren't we?" he asked. Gabriel nodded, still slightly spooked. Jeeze, a person could get vertigo this high up.

"You ready to drink some lake water, Novak?" Jo taunted, climbing onto Ash's shoulders. Gabriel felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. He thought that he might be having fun.

"If I do, I'll be opening up a tab, because you're certainly going to be a heavier drinker than me." He said. He knew it was lame, but it made Sam laugh, and he felt warm in the freezing water and chill air. Ash and Sam ran at each other, and Gabriel took his cue from Jo to put his arms out. They wrestled, a one sided fight really considering Jo's size advantage, and Gabriel felt himself actually laughing. And falling. He was still laughing when he hit the water. He couldn't believe it- this was almost like having friends. And one of them was Sam Winchester. When he resurfaced and crawled to shore, he was the only one still smiling. He felt oddly cold. The rest of them sat or stood dead where they were, staring. He didn't understand, until he looked down. The flannel shirt had come off under water, and in broad daylight he looked terrible. His ribs stuck out almost skeletally, and there were red lines down his arms and torso from his fingernails… he'd forgotten about that. Sam moved first, tossing him his shirt. He hurriedly put it on, and ran from the beach. Sam and Castiel called for him from the beach, but he ignored them, tears streaming down his face. _Ogod what must they think what I was thinking I didn't deserve to be happy…_

He shuffled into his jeans as he passed the rock, pulled on his Father's barn coat, and ran towards the woods to get lost.

**Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a review of any chapters, or PM any specific questions. The healing part begins soon, so dont lose hope! Next chapter is called "Three Imaginary Boys".**


	5. Chapter 5

**As promised! Chapter five. Still in keeping with my Cure chapter titles. Thank you so much for your support! Its like Christmas every time I get a review. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter 5: Three Imaginary Boys

_October 7, Continued:_

_Dreams are cold. The forest floor is a perfect bed. Blue is the perfect color._

Gabriel fled the back to the woods, and ran for what felt like an hour. He came to an abandoned deer blind, and sat down behind it, panting and dizzy. He felt the ground moving under him about ten minutes after he started running, and saw the trees getting taller and taller... There was a pain in his stomach so great he began to dry heave, but there was nothing to vomit. Running hadn't been the best idea. He thought back to the last time he kept down a meal… a week ago, maybe? Couldn't have been much longer than that. He lay down, and decided that a nap couldn't hurt. He slipped into a strange and fitful sleep filled with dreams of the past.

…

In his first dream, he relived a day when he was only five years old. Michael was thirteen at the time, and already had shouldered most of the responsibility of taking care of his four younger siblings. Lucifer, Rafael, and Castiel had all gone to the hospital with Dad to visit Mom, who had just had a new baby. Gabriel wanted to go, but he was sick and the doctors didn't want him to give it to the baby. Naturally, the job of watching him had been slated to Michael. Years later, Gabriel would come to realize that Michael had missed out on his first chance to see his new brother that day because of him. But at that time, Gabriel was excited; Michael was a loving and doting brother then, and time alone with him was always a treat. That day, Michael looked up from his homework at about noon and announced: "Get your coat. We're going out."

Gabriel clapped.

Once they left the house, Gabriel looked up at his tall, dark-haired brother.

"Where are we going, Mike?" He asked. Michael smiled.

"It's a surprise, Gaby." Gabriel nodded.

"Oh."

They walked down the street until they came to the main street of their small town, and down that until they came to a small shop with a colorful awning. Gabriel squinted at the sign, unable to read.

"What's it say, Mike?"

"Just go inside, kiddo."

"Oh."

When he walked in, Gabriel thought he might have been in heaven. The shop was a candy store, with antique glass jars of candy covering every wall, and shelves throughout. Michael kept a close hold on his little hand, and walked him to the center of the shop.

"Alright, Gaby. Pick out anything you want. This old man is feeling generous." He said. Gabriel was delirious with joy, and ran around the store, looking at everything with a sense of wonder. Finally, after almost an hour of scrutinizing gourmet and exotic candies all over the shop, he returned to Michael with a single plain Hershey's bar, the gray letters stark against the black wrapper reminding him of the black and white movies he would watch with Michael late at night when neither of them could sleep. Michael's eyebrows went up.

"Just that? You can get a Hershey's bar anywhere. And it's so plain!" he'd exclaimed. Gabriel had nodded.

"But it'll never change. You can always find one, and it will always taste a sweet as you expect it too." Gabriel explained. Michael's face lit up, and he nodded, walking over and grabbing one for himself.

"You're a wise little punk, you know that Gaby?"

Gabriel shook his head.

"Well, you are."

"Oh.

…

In the second dream, he remembered Rafael showing him their family photo albums one afternoon in August. He recalled distantly the uncomfortable sweaty feeling that had accompanied the day. Rafael had turned the books page by page, saying names.

"Your uncle, Balthazar."

"You're Cousin, Hester."

"Second cousin, Samandriel."

And so on, and so forth. Gabriel was eight, and Rafael was fourteen. Gabriel was stricken by how many people constituted their family, back through generations. Hundreds of names and stories and faces. And Rafael knew them all.

"Rafael, why do I have to know this?" He asked. Rafael stopped still for a second, but then spoke, using carefully controlled tones.

"Because. They're our family."

"But I don't know any of them."

"They're our FAMILY, Gabe. You know them even if you don't think you do. Someday, you may be the head of this family. Michael certainly doesn't have what it takes."

"Takes to do what, Giraffe?" Michael had asked, walking into the room. Rafael had shuddered. Michael had been calling him Giraffe since he had hit a growth spurt at thirteen, and he hated it. He turned to face him.

"Nothing, Mike." Michael had shrugged.

"Whatever you say, bro."

Once he had gone, Gabriel furrowed his brow at his older brother.

"Why do you think he doesn't have what it takes?" Gabriel asked. Rafael shrugged.

"Well, being in charge of a branch of our family is… a tough job. There's a lot of us, and you need to have a certain resolve. Novak's have a lot of kids. You need to be willing not to spoil them. I don't think he could tell someone 'no'." he said, looking at me pointedly. Gabriel didn't really understand, but he nodded. Five years later, the world ended.

…

Gabriel's final memory was set in the month that his dad had left. Their mother had died, and their father had disappeared after the funeral. Rafael and Michael were still frantically busy with the search for their father and the possibility of them having to adopt their siblings, and the younger kids were all staying with an aunt. The old house had been just him and Lucifer, who was sixteen at the time. Gabriel was fourteen. Lucifer came into his room while he was trying to do his homework to keep his mind off of his parents.

"Hey, lard-ass." Gabriel ignored him. "I'm talking to you, porky. You make me sick." Lucifer waited. "You make me sick, you know that? I'm embarrassed to be seen in public with you. Lucy waited a little longer. "That's probably why dad left. He couldn't afford to feed your fat face."

Gabriel had had enough, and he swung around and punched Lucifer in the face. Lucifer had stood stock still for a moment, before a sick grin blossomed on his face. Gabriel realized too late that he'd just invited reciprocated violence. Lucy was the biggest of the brothers, or at least the strongest. Gabriel had been left alone with him before, and unable to control himself, began to cry. "Please, Lucy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Lucy please don't-"

Lucifer grabbed him by the hair and began to drag him down the hall, while he sobbed uncontrollable. He didn't want to be crying, but he knew what Lucifer was capable of. Lucy swept the mess off the kitchen table and swung him up onto it. "You're never going to touch me again, little pig, you got it?" he asked. Gabriel nodded through the tears, hyperventilating but trying not to make any noise. Lucifer hated crying almost as much as he hated screaming. "You're useless. You're a useless, fat animal. Am I right?" he asked, twisting a lock of Gabriel curly blonde hair until it was _just_ ready to come out in his hand before releasing it.

"Yes!" Gabriel had screamed. Lucy nodded.

"Good. Now, you're a pig. What do piggies eat?" Gabriel shook his head frantically. "That's right! Piggies eat _slop_." Keeping a hand of Gabriel's neck, he reached under the table and produced a garbage can, full of half-rotted foodstuffs that should have gone out to the curb a week ago. "Come on. _Eat!" _Holding him to the table by the neck, he began to shove a handful of the disgusting rot into Gabriel's mouth, smashing it into his face, cutting Gabriel's lips on his teeth, breaking his nose. "EAT GOD DAMMIT! Eat-"

"What the hell are you doing?"

Lucifer's grip on Gabriel disappeared as he turned around to see Michael standing in the doorway, a mess of paperwork in one hand. He looked at the table, the rotten food and blood covering his little brothers face, and then at Lucifer. His expression was surprisingly calm, and his voice as well…

"Get out. Now." Lucifer began to walk towards the stairs. "Don't pack a fucking bag. Just leave." His expression also collected and calm, Lucy walked over to Gabriel, and whispered 'piggy' before walking out the front door past Michael. Michael didn't watch him go. Gabriel got up, rinsed off his face, and began to staunch the flow of blood from his quickly swelling nose. "Do you know what you've made me do?" Michael asked quietly. Gabriel felt tears threatening again, but he didn't think he could cry any more at this point. "This family is falling apart. You just forced me to cut off one of my brothers, Gabriel. Do you know what you've _made me do?!_"Gabriel, backed against the cabinets. "If you had just… don't talk to me again. "Michael had then stomped up the stairs to his room, leaving Gabriel battered and bloody to cry in the kitchen, considering ways to lose that weight.

…

Gabriel woke with a start to find he was slung over someone's shoulder. The person was tall, and strong, and the hunger was making him feel strange, dizzy… it was raining hard. He had a horrible thought.

"Lucy! I'm Sorry, Lucy, just put me down!" he screamed.

"What's that mook yammering about?" a voice to his left called. Gabriel saw a flash of blue fabric, and thought he recognized it.

"I don't know! We've gotta get him inside, he's shaking like a leaf!" the person carrying him called. Gabriel realized that it wasn't his brother. The voice belonged to Sam Winchester. Sam Winchester. The rain was cold and his hip bones hurt where they ground against Sam's shoulders, but he decided it would be okay to sleep here. Sam wouldn't drop him.

* * *

**Sorry for the feels... this is the bottom of the barrel for Gabe. Things only get better from here, i promise! Nest chapter title: "10:15 On a Saturday Night"**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright, readers. Thank you for all the reviews and support! More Destiel in this one. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 6: 10:15 on a Saturday Night

_October 7, Continued: _

_What Rafael said about knowing family even when you didn't… He wasn't too far off._

They got to Dean's Baby about twenty minutes later. Sam looked panicked, Castiel was already at shotgun. Gabriel was still asleep.

"Should I wake him up? Aren't we not supposed to let him fall asleep?" Sam asked, his voice rising with barely contained fear. Dean got into the car.

"I don't think he's in shock, Sammy. Now, don't get the seats wet or I'll kill you."

Sam sighed, and unloaded Gabriel into the back seat of the Impala, and climbed in after him. As they drove off, Gabriel's head fell into his lap. Sam stiffened, and raised his shoulders.

"Should I-" he asked, but looked up to see Dean who had been quietly comforting a distressed Castiel, lean over and kiss the boy. Well, those two were having their little moment, but Dean needed to

"DRIVE!" Sam barked, kicking the back of Dean's seat. Dean swerved to avoid driving off the road. Castiel was blushing.

"That was inappropriate and in juxtapose to current situations poorly timed, Dean Winchester. My brother is very ill." He said, looking straight ahead. Dean shook his head.

"Shut up, you ungrateful jackass. That's why I did it in the first place." Dean said, without malice. Castiel considered this. They held hands for the rest of the drive to the Winchesters house in the suburbs.

…

Mary Winchester knew something was wrong as soon as the Impala pulled into the driveway, and her youngest son climbed out holding an unconscious body. She ran out into the rain to help them in. Once inside, she sent Dean into the kitchen to make some tea while she laid blankets over Gabriel on the couch. Gabriel stirred, beginning to regain consciousness, but did not open his eyes. Mary Winchester, sat on the end of the couch, her arms crossed, worry on her face.

"Samuel, who is this?" she asked. Sam, his arms folded and expression identical to his mothers, told her.

"His name is Gabriel Novak. He's a friend from school" He said. Mary closed her eyes and nodded.

"What, mom?"

"Novak." She whispered. He didn't quite comprehend.

"Samuel, go look them up in the phonebook. His brothers need to know where he is." She said, her eyes closed. Gabriel woke with a start.

"No! No, they'll be furious. Please don't tell them I'm here!" he cried. Mary gazed sadly at him, and brushed a lock of his hair out of his face, the warm touch of her hands reminding him of his own mother… Castiel interrupted.

"With all due respect, madam, my brother is not wrong. My eldest brother Michael will be furious when he discovers the nature of our insubordination." He said. Mary took his hands in hers.

"Cass, your brothers have to know. Gabriel almost drowned today." She said. Dean and Sam, who had just reentered the room, stood quietly, awkwardly. Castiel looked away.

"No he didn't." he said. Mary frowned.

"What do you mean? _What happened at the lake_?" she asked, looking pointedly at her sons now. Sam hung his head, and pulled the blankets off of Gabriel, motioning for her to lift up his shirt. Gabriel was only half conscious, so he barely resisted as she unbuttoned the flannel shirt. She put a hand to her mouth, as several tears ran down her face before covering up the small boy.

"Dean, call Michael. Tell him that Gabriel is sick, and that he's staying here tonight.

"Yes Ma'am."

She handed him the mug of tea that Dean had made.

Sam, try to get him to drink some of this. I'll be back in a moment. I have to make a few calls."

"Yes Ma'am."

Mary swept out of the room, leaving Sam and Gabriel alone with the steaming mug of tea.

"Hey, trickster, can you lift that?" he asked. Gabriel nodded weakly, and picked up the mug, his hands shaking.

"Whoa there, bruiser. Take it easy." Sam said. Gabriel nodded, and steadied his arm. He took a sip of the tea, and found it warming and spicy.

"Why do you call me trickster?" he asked at length. Sam laughed quietly.

"Because you put the fake scratch decals on Dean's Impala, and you put the peroxide in the shampoo dispensers in the locker room, and-"

Gabriel put his hand on Sam's mouth, signaling that he'd heard enough.

"What's going to happen?" he asked. Sam felt his heart tug, looking at the tiny, soaked boy lying on the couch before him.

"My mom will take care of everything. She's good at this kind of thing. What happened?" he asked. Gabriel grimaced.

"I don't know. It's been going on for a year now. I just eat and eat and eat and…" he began to cry, and compulsively, Sam wrapped him up in his arms, pulling him into sitting position to hold him, anything to stop the tears on that painfully thin face. Gabriel's heart jumped, and Sam didn't let go.

"Sam, take Gabriel to your room, alright? Cass can sleep with Dean." Mary called from the study. She had a leather calling book in her hands and was cradling the phone receiver against her ear with her shoulder. Sam considered her last statement, and resisted the urge to call back: "Yes, he can." It seemed like neither the time nor the place. He helped Gabriel finish his tea, and then to his feet.

"Can you walk?" he asked. Gabriel took a few shaky steps, then nodded. Sam put one of Gabriel's arms around his shoulder anyways, and helped him slowly, excruciatingly, up the stairs. Gabriel was pale and panting when they reached the top, and his face was covered in a slick sheen of sweat. Sam practically carried him the rest of the way to his bedroom, and laid him down on the bed.

"You mind if I change?"

Gabriel shook his head no. The tall, muscular boy began to strip down in front of him, and Gabriel felt like his insides were being torn out with the beauty of it. When Sam went to remove his swim trunks, he stopped, and turned around. Had he noticed Gabriel staring? Sam knelt next to the bed, putting his face at Gabriel's level.

"I just remembered. I usually sleep in my boxers." He said. Gabriel nodded slowly, not understanding why Sam was telling him this. Sam put his face closer, and Gabriel felt his heart pounding so hard he was certain that Sam could hear it. There was a warmth building between the two of them that he'd never felt before. Sam closed his eyes and kissed him, carefully holding Gabriel's lower lip between his, gliding his mouth over the smaller boy', before gently pulling away. Gabriel had his eyes closed, waiting to wake up, to find out he was dreaming.

"I have one problem, Gabriel. I generally sleep in my boxers, but someone is using them right now." He said, a nervous smile coming to his face. Understanding dawned on Gabriel's face, and he nodded his consent.

"Take them. I'm not going anywhere."

And Sam did.

* * *

**I have had this and the next chapter done for a few days, but ive been giving my editor time to rest. So, Thanks to Redpanda23 for hanging in there, even when i send her two or three chapters in the space of a few hours! Next chapter is juts called "The Cure." As always, I love to read reviews, so tell em what you liked, hated, or would change!**


	7. Apology

I would like to issue a formal apology to any and all readers who have been offended or otherwise harmed by the content of this story. There are spoilers this apology, but I feel they are necessary. I have been purposely ambiguous as to the nature of Gabriel's condition, and rereading what I've posted, it seems _way_ worse and much further progressed than I meant it to. The reason he passed out in woods was immediate hunger, _not_ genuine starvation. He _does_ have an eating disorder- the early stages of Bulimia Nervosa- which is of course serious nonetheless. I promise that I had the whole plot outlined before I started writing, and that it was never going to be a "kiss it better" solution. I have family members who suffered Bulimia, and I understand the urgent nature of the condition (whereas the Winchesters did not), and I did intend to get him help. In the next and final chapter, they were to wake up after what turned into a chaste night of comforting to find that Mrs. Winchester has called Gabriel's family, as well as alerting the state. He is taken to the hospital. He gets psychiatric help, enters rehabilitation, and after six months, although he is still under observation and seeing a therapist, as well as taking antidepressants, he is released to live with the Winchesters (Linda Tran, a family friend of the Winchesters and a state social worker, having pulled strings to be assigned his case and make sure he ended up with them). The road to mental and physical health, although still long, having been mounted. (I am literally copying nd pasting portions of my outline). I understood from the beginning that there is no easy or eloquent solution to any disorder, and I am truly sorry to anyone who has been offended by my shortcomings as a serial author translating into triggering and ignorant representations of very real situations, and I sincerely hope that the reader who specifically called me out on this will read this and at least have some piece of mind regarding _this_ particular story.


	8. Chapter 8

**Once again, I offer my sincerest of apologies to any and all readers who have been triggered or offended by this piece- I assure you it was never my intention to serve you so. The title here is "The Cure" not because there is a definitive cure for any mental or similar illness, but to tip a hat to the band from whom every chapter title came from, and to imply that things can get better. I understand that corners have been cut with some of the legal issues faced by characters in this fiction, but I felt it was unnecessary to include every detail and procedure entailed in the proceedings. The important part was to get the point across- that healing _happens. _This is the final chapter of "In Between Days." If I can find it in me to write another fiction, you can be sure it will be set in the same A.U. Thank you for sticking with this.**

* * *

Chapter 7: The Cure

_October 7- April 8_

_I, Illuminated. _

Sam Winchester was curled around Gabriel Novak on Sam's twin sized bed. Gabriel smiled inwardly, that the sheets were Star Wars sheets, and that the floor was covered in books and discarded clothing, and that there were still a few stuffed animals on the bed…. Sam was so normal.

Sam held him like he was holding glass, just as he had all night- he seemed certain he ran the risk of breaking him. After Sam had helped him undress, they realized that they could go any further, since they didn't know how sick he was or wasn't. They didn't sleep together that night, but laid awake talking or respecting the silence from hour to hour. Sam had curled around him, keeping his frail frame warm with his steady heartbeat, cushioning Gabriel with his body. When gabriel had drifted off to dream of him at one point, and when he woke up, Sam was still awake.

"Winchest- Sam?" He had asked. "What are you still doing up?"

Sam had shrugged.

"I was afraid something might happen in your sleep." He'd said, smiling hopefully. Gabriel wished he was feeling better, then and there, but settled for kissing the moose until the sun came up. After Gabriel complained of cold, Sam pulled the blanket off of the end of the bed with one long arm, and covered them both up. This was well timed, as Mary Winchester opened the door to his room at the same moment.

"Oh. I assumed Sam would take the floor tonight." She said, more bemused than surprised. Sam, to his credit, didn't blush.

"Gabriel got cold, and since he was sick I figured…" he trailed off. They held their breath.

"Conscientious, Sam. But next time? Ask me for more blankets." She said, rolling her eyes but buying it. "Get ready to face the day, Gabriel. Your brother will be coming soon."

Gabriel felt his stomach fill with fear, and Mary closed the door. Sam sat up, and held Gabriel in his lap, his arms around him, kissing his neck. His long hair fell around Gabriel's head, almost covering his face. He felt the fear lessen.

…

When Gabriel came down stairs with Sam, wearing an oversized flannel shirt with rolled sleeves and oversized jeans belted tightly at the waist and rolled drastically at the legs, the dining room of the Winchester house was full of familiar faces. Dean and Cass sat next to each other, Cass blushing whenever Dean looked at him, Dean winking at his younger brother and Gabriel when they entered the room. Mrs. Winchester, Michael, and a stranger. The strange woman looked up with everyone else when Sam and Gabriel entered the room.

"Sit down, Gabriel. Sam, Dean, Castell"- Castiel interrupted.

"Castiel."

"Yes- would you mind leaving us for the time being? We won't be long, I promise." She said. Mary looked at her sons.

"Go on up to your rooms, boys." She prompted. Sam reluctantly mounted the steps, and an impishly grinning Dean pushed Cass up the stairs in front of him, a puckish laugh budding in his throat. Mary rolled her eyes at the oblivious nature of her eldest son. Gabriel met Michael's eyes for a moment, but couldn't maintain contact. He was too afraid.

"Gabriel, this is my friend Linda Tran. She's a social worker." Mary said. Social workers. He understood the look on Michael's face. Social workers caused trouble. Mrs. Tran, a severe looking, middle aged Asian American woman, smiled at him. "She's a very efficient woman. She's well known for doing her job quickly and doing it well. More importantly, she can help you. Both of you." She said, pointedly looking from Gabriel to Michael. Michael rolled his eyes.

"So the kids a little skinny. I promise you, he isn't missing any meals. The grocery bills Rafael and I pay…." Michael said petulantly. If looks could kill, Mary Winchester would have been guilty of murder. Mrs. Tran reached across the table to take Gabriel's hands in hers.

"I'll understand if you don't feel comfortable doing this, but would you show your brother and I what Mrs. Winchester saw last night?" she asked. Gabriel was shaking. Michael would be disgusted, furious… "I have a son about your age. His name is Kevin, and sometimes I feel like I could rip his head off. But I love him no matter what, Gabriel. And even when I'm furious with him, if I thought he needed help, I would give it to him." She said. Gabriel nodded, understanding. Slowly, with shaking hands, he unbuttoned his shirt. Michael's eyes widened, and he stared, unblinking, at his younger brother. Mrs. Winchester looked away, and Mrs. Tran moved to hug him, before remembering her place as a stranger.

Gabriel was pale. His hip bones, just above the waist of Sam's jeans, were sharp, and his ribs were visible. He was skinny, but he didn't appear to be dangerously so. However, the painful, saddening feature that had everyone worried was not that. Across his chest and on each of his arms, in healing red lines, he had scratched the word "Freak." With his fingernails.

Mrs. Tran turned to face Mrs. Winchester.

"You should have called someone last night. He needs to see someone." She said, genuine scorn in her voice. Mary put her head in her hand, not meeting her gaze. Sam didn't know what to do. Michael was still staring, expressionless but wide eyed. He stood, and removed his coat, putting it over Gabriel's shoulders. He then enfolded him in the first hug that Gabriel had received from him since their father had left, a hug that Gabriel realized was a lot _like_ their fathers hug. Michael was wearing their father's cologne. He held his little brother close and shook with sobs that racked his entire body. Gabriel couldn't make out what he was saying through the tears, save for one phrase, repeated over and over again.

"I'm sorry."

…

Sam was taken to the hospital and the doctors said that they were lucky- he was only just entering the earliest stages of the physical repercussions of his disorder, and little lasting physical damage had been dealt. However, it was suggested that he remain for several days under observation. During this time, many meetings were held, many forms were filed, and the end result was as follows:

Michael's custody of Gabriel was immediately suspended, and full inquiry was to be mounted into his care for the rest of the children under his custody.

Gabriel was to spend six months in a rehabilitation clinic, and was to be provided a psychologist by the state until his eighteenth birthday

And of course, he was to regain something that the red tape and bureaucracycould never provide. His brothers.

…

Gabriel pulled on a jacket over his sweater and jeans, the feeling of street clothes strange after nothing but of scrubs. They fit him much better than when he'd last worn them... was it really six months ago? He looked in the mirror, and took a deep breath. Mirrors were a new luxury as of last week, and he was still learning to deal with them. He repeated a mantra in his head, ridiculous words that embarrassed him but he was assured would work. "I am beautiful." He looked at his face, to his stomach. He had filled out only slightly over the past three months of careful observation and engineered diets, but still felt the underlying need to control his body mass somehow. He would never be fat, the doctors told him, and he may not grow as tall as he should have- maybe another inch or two more at most. He didn't really mind that. He looked at his face, beginning to be re-rounded by months of care, and tried to love it. Despite the therapy, he would still be taking antidepressants for an indeterminable amount of time, and his weekly visits to his psychologist would only be the one of the measures taken to keep him working towards recuperation- and not just physical health. Michael, who after being identified as a potential trigger in the early weeks of therapy had been allowed to talk to him only a few times in the past three months (Christmas and New Year's), was to become an increasingly more active part of his life. He seemed apologetic but hopeful the few times Gabriel had seen him. He was to begin residence with the Winchester family, which he was admittedly thrilled about. Mrs. Tran had called in all of her favors to be the social worker assigned to his case, and she seemed to think as highly of the Winchester family as he did. If anyone could have pulled strings necessary to get him placed in their home, it would have been her. He smiled, telling himself that everything would be ok- repeating it, running through the layers of defenses and safeties that he knew were in place if he fell off the deep end again. He put a hand to his breast. The scratches from his fingernails on his chest and arms that had started it all were finally completely gone, but he couldn't help but wonder…

"Gabe!" someone said. He looked from the mirror, to see Sam Winchester standing in the door to his room, an amused orderly standing just behind him. Gabriel was dropping his bag on the bare mattress, running to him, jumping on him. They had not seen each other in six months, when they had said their tearful goodbyes that caused Mary Winchester to raise an eyebrow in suspicion. Sam had somehow managed to grow since then. When Gabriel released him from a bear hug, he noticed that Sam was soaking wet.

"I walked here to come meet you before my mom and your brothers got here. It was raining." He explained. Gabriel hugged him again, awed at the solidness of the taller boy. He hadn't touched anyone since coming to the center, and this was heavenly. Sam hugged him back, and pulled him up off of the ground.

"You don't feel like wet paper anymore!" he exclaimed. "I love it." He added quietly, and blocking the orderly's view of them with his broad shoulders, he kissed Gabriel on the tip of his nose. Months of state-funded therapy meant nothing. Gabriel knew that however long it took, he would get better. _Completely_ better. Mary Winchester appeared in the doorway, and Michael was standing quietly behind her. Gabriel ran to them. _Yes_, he thought. _I'm ready to go home_.

**End of First Movement**

* * *

**This has been "In Between Days." If you have taken anything from this, take that people can heal, that help exists, and that the people who love you _will_ help you. If I have misrepresented, sensationalized, romanticized or otherwise misused any elements, please forgive me and know that it was done with no ill intentions or knowledge that I had done so. Thank you for reading this. **


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